Helping Your Child Transition Back to School: A Parent/ Guardian Guide to Executive Functioning
By Angela Ventrice B.A. (Hons), B.Ed.
September can bring excitement, but it can also bring stress, uncertainty and overwhelm. For many children and teens, the transition back to school, or the move to college or university, can be harder than we expect.
As parents/caregivers it can be tempting to respond with reminders:
“Did you pack your bag?”
“Have you checked your schedule?”
“Why haven’t you started your homework?”
“You need to get yourself organized.”
And honestly, sometimes we say these things because we are worried.
We want our kids to succeed.
But there is another way we can approach the transition, one that focuses less on “Why can’t you do this?” and more on “What would make this easier?”
Transitions put extra demands on the brain
Starting a new school year means managing a lot of information at once.
Your child may need to:
Remember a new timetable
Navigate different classrooms
Manage multiple teachers
Keep track of assignments
Estimate how long things will take
Remember what to bring home
Start tasks without someone standing beside them
Manage distractions
Adjust to new social expectations
Get enough sleep
Handle the emotions that come with change
These are all executive functioning skills.
And executive functioning isn’t simply about being responsible, motivated or organized.
Some children need more external support while these skills are developing.
That isn’t laziness.
It isn’t a lack of intelligence.
And it certainly isn’t a character flaw.
Your child may not need more reminders-they may need a system.
When your child repeatedly forgets something, our first instinct can be to remind them again.
But if reminders haven’t worked, adding more reminders probably isn’t the solution.
Instead, ask:
“How can we make this easier to remember?”
For example:
Instead of reminding your child every morning to bring their gym clothes, create a visual reminder beside the door.
Instead of asking repeatedly whether homework is finished, establish one predictable place where assignments are recorded.
Instead of saying, “Clean your room,” try:
“Let’s start with the floor. What’s the first thing you can put away?”
The goal is to move some of the work out of the child’s head and into the environment.
That’s not creating dependence.
It’s creating scaffolding.
Don’t try to fix everything before September
Parents can feel pressure to have everything perfectly organized before school starts.
You don’t need to.
In fact, trying to introduce five new systems at once can create even more stress.
Choose one or two areas that would make the biggest difference.
Maybe it’s:
Morning routine:
What needs to happen before leaving the house?
Homework:
Where will assignments be recorded and completed?
Sleep:
How can bedtime gradually move closer to the school schedule?
Organization:
Where will important school materials live?
Technology:
Which apps or platforms will your child actually use?
Start small.
Once one system becomes familiar, build from there.
